Motherhood Friendships

Last year, Matt and I were thrilled to move into our new (to us) home. We are now walking distance from the bay, a neighborhood playground, and a bike trail that leads us into the State Park. These kid friendly amenities have created a community of young families. Walter was just 4 months old when we moved, so most of my outings consisted of grocery runs and strolls to the park. Breastfeeding around the clock and broken sleep during the night leaves any mother on the brink of insanity. Needless to say, most of my alone time was spent eating, sleeping, or showering. Being the pioneer of most of my friends, I was the lone wolf with a baby. Although it is always a complete breath of fresh air when I get to spend time with my girlfriends who don’t have children, I’ve come to realize the necessity of friendship between mothers. 

 Last Spring, I was on one of our daily walks to the park when I met my neighbor, Anne. I propped Walter up in a baby swing, and casually greeted the mom and baby boy next to us. Anne quickly introduced herself, asked Walters age, and for my cell phone number! We soon realized that we live just 5 houses away from each other. It was as if we could have burst into tears and hugged, right there at the playground! I laugh thinking back at this meeting because of how excited we were to find each other. 

Our boys are just 5 months apart, and have become best buddies (and so have we). It is so fun and equally beneficial for our now toddlers (whatttt?!) to have play time together. I’ve so enjoyed watching them learn to eat, crawl, walk, and explore together, but more than anything, I’ve gained an understanding of the importance of motherhood friendship. 

^^Hugs... melts my heart!

As I enter each new phase of my life: school, sports, college, marriage, and now motherhood, I’ve recognized that the friendships I chose in each phase really sculpted my experience. When I became a mom, I quickly realized that “my experience” no longer just includes myself; it also includes my son. 

Since Walter has arrived, I’ve made it a personal goal to become intentional in my relationships and who I allow sculpt my view of motherhood. The phrase, “it takes a village” to raise a child is the plain truth. I am constantly seeking sound advice, while observing what needs may be unique to Walter. In these mother-to-mother relationships, I have made most gains in receiving perspective. It can be a little too easy to complain as a mother, how emotionally draining and physically tasking this role is. Sometimes it takes venting to a fellow mother who has walked through the same steps to make you realize this “rough patch” is just a season, or something is not quite as big a deal as I thought. Other times, it takes just a brief encounter with my friend and neighbor, Erin, who has FIVE children who she mothers and home schools with patience and grace. My support gives me strength through perspective, what a delicate GIFT it is to raise a child. 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person does another.  Proverbs 27:17

The thing I find most important within motherhood support is mutual respect- no judgment or condescending entitlement because motherhood is hard enough. No other mom will feed, speak to, discipline, potty-train, or teach their child the way you do. Thank God they don’t because each child is individually unique. Between mothers, there is only room for sharing, encouraging, prayer, problem-solving, and play-dates. Motherhood is not a competition, it is a community.

These friendships have become priceless to me. When Walter was born, I was given countless flowers, cards, and baby clothes, but the newly seasoned mom sent me a bouquet of Starbucks gift cards and oatmeal raisin cookies on a stick. When Walter was sleep-training and it hurt every ounce of my body to let him cry, the mom of three encouraged me with tears of her own. When breastfeeding became a burden, that reassuring phone call reminded me of it’s blessing. When Walter cut his molars and I didn’t sleep sound for days, the morning texts asking if last nights sleep was better were more rejuvenating than a cup of coffee. When Walter had a fever of 105, she was over within minutes with a stocked bag of snacks, pacifiers, blankets, and an air mattress for the hospital. When we were away on girls weekend shopping the day away, and they took breaks with me so I never had to pump alone. These are moments that I will never forget because a firm foundation in motherhood friendship fosters strong mothers. 

Since becoming Walters mom, I've found the value and wisdom I gain from other mother's hearts. 

So when you see that sleep deprived mom in your baby’s story time class or un-manicured mom playing by you at the park, step out and connect, because you might just be the support she needs.